I am Israel

I have so many blessings from God every day. I am on the border of the promised land.  I have not ever wondered what I was going to eat the next day or where I was going to sleep at night.  I have witnessed God's protection more times than I can count.  SO WHY do I murmur and complain? I ask God for something and in his mercy and love He grants it.  I praise Him for all of about a week. Then I am back to murmuring and complaining for something else. (I don't even like leeks and onions)  Oh retched (woman) that I am.  God has promised never to leave me or forsake me.  God has my best interests at heart.  He knows the plans He has for me, the thoughts that He thinks about me, plans for a hope and a future.  His thoughts are not my thoughts. Higher than the highest human thought is God's ideal for me.  Yes I know all of this. So why are there still doubts and troubling thoughts in my mind? An enemy has done this. Lord, help me focus more on you and less on me.  I am sinking beneath the waves, just after having walked on water; so now I am Peter as well.  Lord I believe help Thou mine unbelief! My wish would be to not be the person that Peter was before the cross, but the one that He was after his conversion! Bold, proclaiming Jesus to anyone who will listen. God I need more of You and Your Holy Spirit.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX1G71WK-FA  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tElvdnId4Q  So God gave me these two songs this morning.  The first "Move-Keep walking" by Toby Mac. The second "All My Hope" by Tauren Wells.  So tired of this life and its fight.  John 16:33 (KJV) "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." 1 John 4:4 (KJV) "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." Revelation 2:25 (KJV) "But that which ye have already hold fast till I come." Revelation 3:11 (KJV) "Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown." https://www.bible.com/bible/1/heb.12.1 Hebrews 12:1 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?" Lord, Help me hold on to You and keep my focus on You always.